There was a young man named Cattell
                            
                    Who knew psychophysics so well,
                            That each time he shit
                            He'd stop, measure it---
                            
                    It's length, and it's breadth, and it's smell.
                            

There was a young Jewess named Hannah
Who sucked off her lover's banana.
    She swore that the cream
    That shot out in a stream
Tasted better than Biblical manna.

The Beer Prayer 

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against 
us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and 
the lager.

Barmen


Sent by aftab

There was a young girl named Regina
Who called in a water diviner
To play a slick trick
With his prick as a stick
To help locate her vagina. 

There once were two ladies from Birmingham 
               That dealy with matters not concerning them. 
                    They reached under the robes 
                    And tickled the globes 
               Of the bishop that then was confirming them 

               Now this bishop he wasn't a fool, 
               He knew what to do with that duel. 
                    He whipped off his britches 
                    And gave those two bitches 
               A foot of episcople tool.