There was a young man named Zerubbabel 
               Who had only one real, and one rubber ball. 
                    When they asked if his pleasure 
                    Was only half measure, 
               He replied, "That is highly improbable." 

There was a young man named Zerubbabel 
               Who had only one real, and one rubber ball. 
                    When they asked if his pleasure 
                    Was only half measure, 
               He replied, "That is highly improbable." 

Hey Masturbater
 
 (To The Tune Of Macarena) 
 
 Sitting in my house and I know that I'm alona, 
 Feeling kinda horny, got a jingle in my bona, 
 Go and grab a Penthouse it's the one with Sharon Stona,
 Hey Masturbata!!! 
 
 I go a little faster and it's feeling kind of nicea,
 Once is not enough so I have to do it twicea, 
 If you wanna spank the monkey I can give you good advicea,
 Hey Masturbata!!! 
 
 I use some baby oil or a little vaselina, 
 Laying down a towel so I keep my carpet cleana, 
 Never shake my hand cos you don't know where its beena,
 Hey Masturbata!!! 
 
 I do it in the car when I'm driving down the streeta,
 One hand on the wheel and the other on my meata, 
 I can't get out the car cos I'm sticking to the seata,
 Hey Masturbata!!! 
 
 Since I was a kid I have been a mastubater, 
 Choke the chicken, hum the knob, squeezing the tomata,
 I've looked at Miss November, now I'm gonna decorata,
 Hey Masturbata!!!! 


 Sent by Paul

Write in C  --  by Beatles
----------
When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."

As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.

I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.

If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC's not the answer.
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.

Part 2 of 12
   
                    He could vary, with proper persuasion,
                            
                    His fart to suit any occasion.
                            He could fart like a flute,
                            Like a lark, like a lute,
                            
                    This highly fartistic Caucasian.