To the tune of 'Yesterday':

Leprocy, bits and pieces falling off of me,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
Oh I contracted Leprocy.

There was a young fellow named Bliss
Whose sex life was strangely amiss,
    For even with Venus
    His recalcitrant penis
Would never do better than t
                           h
                           i
                           s
                           .

There once was a gay young Parisian 
            Who came to an awful decision: 
                For his sexual joys 
                He'd have women and boys, 
            And snakes too---and no supervision! 

               There once were two brothers named Luntz 
               Who buggered each other at once. 
                    When asked to account 
                    For this intricate mount, 
               They said, "Assholes are tighter than cunts." 

Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was scarlet red.
The reason for this colour scheme
was the pick-axe in it's head.