A man was being interviewed for a job. 

"Were you in the service?" ask the interviewer. 

"Yes, I was a marine," responded the applicant. 

"Did you see any active duty?" 

"I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability." 

"May I ask what happened?" 

"Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both 
testicles." 

"You're hired. You can start Monday at 10 am." 

"When does everyone else start? I don't want any preferential 
treatment because of my disability." 

"Everyone else starts at 7 am but I might as well be honest with 
you. Nothing gets done between 7 and 10. We just sit 
around scratching our balls trying to decide what to do first."

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street 
with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop 
pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously 
drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm 
drunk?"

Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I 
thought I was a cripple."

Australia.
Where men are real men
And sheep are scared shitless

And where the term 'Going Down Under' means something entirely different

   A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that
   they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert
   himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we
   wouldn't be here at all!"
   
   The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only
   would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would
   there be any "we" in the first place."

What's the difference between a bull and a cow?

A bull smiles when you milk it.