Tombstone Epitaph
In a London, England cemetery:
Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767

The Fisherman

One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the 
sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth 
of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.

About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the 
stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out 
why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his 
family.

"You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the businessman to the fisherman, "you 
should be working rather than lying on the beach!"

The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, "And what will my reward be?"

"Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the businessman's answer.

"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling.

The businessman replied, "You will make money and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then
result in larger catches of fish!"

"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman again.

The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman's questions. "You 
can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!" he said.

"And then what will my reward be?" repeated the fisherman.

The businessman was getting angry. "Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing 
boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!"

Once again the fisherman asked, "And then what will my reward be?"

The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, "Don't you understand that you 
can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all 
the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won't have a care in 
the world!"

The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, "And what do you think I'm doing right now?" 

Why do Scottsmen wear kilts?



The sound of the zipper scares the sheep.

Sent by Lou

    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
   Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be
   able to support you. Why do men pass gas more than women? Because
   women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure. One golfer tells
   another: "Hey, guess what? I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The
   other replies: "GREAT trade!" How many men does it take to open a
   beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in. What do
   you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant. I married Miss Right.
   I just didn't know her first name was Always. Losing a wife can be
   hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. I haven't spoken to my
   wife for 18 months-I don't like to interrupt her. Women are so
   unreasonable! My wife gets mad because every Saturday night I take a
   bath with bubbles in it. I mean, if Bubbles doesn't mind, why should
   she? Most accidents happen at home. And the men have to eat them! Some
   mornings I wake up grouchy...and some mornings I just let her sleep!
   Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
   Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive
   by 90 percent.... Wedding cake! Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
   engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

Whats black and white and red all over?

A nun in a car accident.