I heard on the news last night that Bill Gates and his wife are expecting 
a baby in June.

I'm betting the baby will be late.

What do you get with a corduroy condom?

A groovy kind of love.

The little sexy housewife was built so well the TV repairman 
couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Every time she came in the 
room, he'd near about jerk his neck right out of joint looking at 
her. 

When he'd finished she paid him and said, "I'm going to make a 
. . . well . . . unusual request. But you have to first promise me 
you'll keep it a secret."

The repairman quickly agreed and she went on. "Well, it's kind 
of embarrassing to talk about, but while my husband is a kind, 
decent man -- sigh -- he has a certain physical weakness. A 
certain disability. Now, I'm a woman and you're a man . . . "

The repairman could hardly speak, "Yes yes!"

"And since I've been wanting to ever since you came in the 
door . . ."

"Yes yes!"

"Would you help me move the refrigerator?"

Have you ever smelled moth balls? 

     - How did you get their little legs apart? 

Studly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekick are
perched near the front door of the girls' dorm. Several
plain Janes walk by as the two converse.

Then a Sharon Stone look-alike emerges from the dorm and
saunters past. Romeo turns, smiles, and -- barely audibly
-- inquires, "Tickle your ass with a feather?"

The young beauty -- startled by what she thinks she heard
-- exclaims "What?!" Without missing a beat, Romeo repeats
"Typical nasty weather?" "Oh," she demures, "yes," and goes
on her way.

More young lovelys walk by and the scene is repeated.
"Tickle your ass with a feather?" "What?" 
"Typical nasty weather?"

Finally, Romeo delivers his line,
"Tickle your ass with a feather?" and his prospect stops,
smiles and invites him up to her room.

Now the sidekick, alone, having paid close attention,
decides to try this remarkable new technique. A likely
prospect comes near. The sidekick leers and blurts out,
"Cram a feather up your ass?"

Shocked, the girl spins around and slaps him, to which
he replies, "Looks like rain!"