Starting off with Edward who works at
a Wal-Mart.  One day an older gent asked him, "Where are
Depends?"  I took him over to the adult incontinence under-
garments and then his face turned red with embarassment.
"No," he said, and took an ink pen out of his pocket.  
"I want da pens."

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an 
hour east of Bakersfield, blonde new to boating was having aproblem.
No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 
22-ft Bayliner to perform.  It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it 
was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power 
she applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a 
nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong. A thorough 
topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The 
engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the 
correct size and pitch.
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, 
still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

   It's not all that often a wife will confess her faults. Just the other
   nite my wife said, "Hon, I know I'm not the perfect wife. I realize
   I'm often too outspoken."
   
   Risking all manner of flying objects, I couldn't resist the temptation
   and calmly replied, "Oh, by whom dear ?"