Harlan says there's a Judi who works at his place:  Our 
receptionist, (yes, she is a blonde), often takes orders to call 
out for pizza on nights we work late. One night, after placing an 
order for two pizza's from around the corner, we asked her how 
long it would be. She said she was told 40 minutes. When we 
commented to her that we thought that was a long time, she 
responded "that seems about right, it takes 20 minutes to cook 
a pizza and we ordered 2 of them". 

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed
firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "goodnight, sleep tight"
came from.

IDIOTS AT THE AIRPORT

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when
the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your
baggage without your knowledge?"  I said, "If it was without my
knowledge, how would I know?"  He smiled and nodded knowingly,
"That's why we ask."