I was on a Reno Air flight from San Jose to Las Vegas and the 
plane was taxiing to take off. The flight attendant came on the 
intercom and said, "For those of you currently reading our in-
flight magazine, please place it back in the seat pocket in front 
of you, as it is for IN-FLIGHT only." Later on, once we were 
airborne, he came back and said, "If you're sitting on the right 
side of the plane, look out the window and you will see big, 
white, fluffy clouds. If you're on the left side of the plane, you'll 
see ... big, white, fluffy clouds. Directly beneath you is...your 
luggage."

Once we landed, he told us to remain seated with our seatbelts 
fastened until we were fully stopped at the gate. Just as we 
were about to reach the gate, he said, "Don't even think about 
it!" He also said, "We have a man onboard who is celebrating 
his 100th birthday and this is his first flight! It is also probably 
his last flight." ('Boo's' from the passengers.) "So please, when 
you walk by the cockpit , wish the pilot a happy birthday."

HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS

"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get
the best of you."  (Doug, 7)

"It might help to watch soap operas all day."  (Carin, 9)

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA

can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each letter
only once) into:

    TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS


The only two presidents to have the letters from the word "criminal" in
their full names are, not surprisingly, Richard Milhous Nixon and William
Jefferson Clinton.