There's just no pleasin' some women at all. Just the other day I was
   trying to read the paper and naturally, my wife picked that moment to
   begin a discussion. I heard her say "...and then I went to see Dr.
   Gibbons." I grunted a reply, and she raised her voice saying, "Are you
   listening to me?"
   
   I put the paper down and said, "Yes sweetheart, I heard every word.
   You said you went to see Dr. Gibbons. So... how is he ???"
   
   Would y'all believe she didn't talk to me the rest of the evening ?


  

It is said that P. T. Barnum, the famed circus magnate, hung a large sign 
over one of the exits of his museum which read, "This way to the egress."  
Many people in the crowds, eager to see what an egress looked like, passed 
through the door and found themselves out on the street.

[AP, Mammoth Lakes, CA] A San Anselmo man
   died yesterday when he hit a lift tower at the
   Mammoth mountain ski area while riding down the
   slope on a foam pad, authorities said. Matthew
   David Hubal, 22, was pronounced dead at Centinela
   Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3
   a.m. The Mono County Sheriff's Department said
   Hubal and his friends had apparently hiked up a
   ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow
   foam protectors from the lift towers. Lieutenant
   Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police
   Department said the pads are used to protect
   skiers who might hit the towers. The group
   apparently used the pads to slide down the ski
   slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has
   since been investigated that the tower he hit was
   the one with its pad removed.