When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt 
down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and 
the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you 
that pisses me off.

by Stephen King

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel
the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay
them for the privilege of having sex for the first time.
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for
virgins to marry.

On the wall of a church was a sign:
"If you are tired of sin, come to see us!"

And right below it in nice rounded letters;
"But if you're not, my phone number is 341 3451"