If I was you I would have sex with me

Geniuses do not think more than other people.  They think
less.
        --Len Cool

"They called me mad, and I called them mad, and damn them, they outvoted me."
                        -- Nathaniel Lee, on being consigned to a mental
                           institution, circa 17th century.

I happen to believe in the sanctity of marriage --
no matter how ugly and disgusting it gets. 

     - Major Frank Burns, M*A*S*H 

"I feel schizophrenic; first he says 'open your mouth,' then he says 'keep 
it closed.'" 

     - Monica Lewinski