"*slap*"
"When she does that you're meant to say 'harder'..."
"Harder... but only if she ties me up..."
                        -- Debra Langeluddecke, me, Richard White

"Stupidity, like hydrogen, is one of the basic
building blocks of the Universe."

     - Frank Zappa, during an explanation of why the New York Times
       newspaper refused to carry advertising for his new movie. 

A mother may hope that her daughter will get
a better husband than she did
but she knows her son will never get
as good a wife as his father did.

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think
of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."

                                           - Roseanne

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. 

     - Samuel Goldwyn