"Television: A medium.
So called because it's neither rare nor well done." 

Ernie Kovacs.

Women should be obscene and not heard. 

"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface.
 All I do is point it at people."
"Then what does it do?"
"Why would it need to do anything else?"
                        -- Dogbert, Dilbert, Dogbert

"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." 

Terry Pratchett.

"MY GOD BENNO...WAY TOO MANY QUOTES :)"
                        -- Execution aka James Morledge