England and America are two countries separated by the same language.

"An author once told me I must find my muse before I could write.  When I
 finally found her, she was wearing a rubber helmet, a latex catsuit, a very
 tight corset, an armbinder, and ballet-toe boots with seven inch heels.  I
 suspect I am not meant to be a writer."
                        -- Unknown

Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the
       mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organised by the
       Swiss. Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French,
       the lover's Swiss, the police German and it's all organised by the
       Italians.

Modern parents believe toilet training should be an easy and
casual affair.  Just let the child s*%# all over everything.  This
prepares him or her for a brilliant career as a talk show host.

                                                        --P.J. O'Rouke

"The following two statements are usually both true:

There's not enough documentation.

There's too much documentation."

-- Larry Wall