A young fellow discovered through Freud 
               That although of a penis devoid, 
                    He could practice coitus 
                    By eating a fetus, 
               And his parents were quite overjoyed. 

               A bobby of Nottingham Junction 
               Whose organ had long ceased to function 
                    Deceived his good wife 
                    For the rest of her life 
               With the aid of a constable's truncheon. 

A company of Grenadier Guards 
               While traversing the park, formed in squads, 
                    Saw two naked statues 
                    At three-quarter pratt views, 
               Which perceptibly stiffened their rods. 

A certain young fellow named Dick
Liked to feel a girl's hand on his prick.
He taught them to fool
With his rigid old tool
Till the cream shot out, white and thick. 

A young sky diver named Sherm
jumped out with his cock long and firm
two jerks and a spasm,
he had an orgasm
and spelled out "I love you" in sperm.