An aesthete from South Carolina
Had a cock that tinkled like china,
But while shooting his load
It cracked like old Spode,
So he's bought him a Steuben vagina.

There was an aesthetic young miss 
            Who thought it the apex of bliss 
                To jazz herself silly 
                With the bud of a lily, 
            Then go to the garden to piss! 

There was an old hag named Le Sueur 
            Who just was an out-and-out whore. 
                Between her big tits 
                You could come for two bits, 
            And she'd fuck in any old sewer. 

A phenomenal fellow named Preston 
               Has a hair-padded lower intestine. 
                    Though exceedingly fine 
                    In the buggery line, 
               It isn't much good for digestin'. 

There was a young man of Datchet 
               Who cut off his prick with a hatchet. 
                    Then very politely 
                    He sent it to Whitely, 
               And ordered a cunt that would match it. 

               "There is a young girl here at Vassar 
               And none, for your needs, could surpass her. 
                    But she cannot detach it 
                    And much less dispatch it. 
               You'll still have to bach it. Alas, sir!"