The voice from the UFO cried,
"To the smartest we'll give a free ride!"
Several men volunteered,
But the ship disappeared
With a whale and two dolphins inside. 

            A big bollocksed dancer, Durango, 
            Had trouble while dancing Fandango, 
                The blood from his twirls 
                Overfilled the guys pearls 
            Which swelled to the size of a mango. 

There once was a Vassar B.A. 
               Who pondered the problem all day 
                    Of what there would be 
                    If C-U-N-T 
               Were divided by C-O-C-K. 

There was a young lady from Niger,
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
After the ride
She was inside,
And the smile was on the face of the tiger.

               A pathetic appellant at Reno 
               Was as chaste as the holy Bambino, 
                    For she'd married a slicker 
                    Who stuck to his liquor 
               And scorned her ripe maraschino