The last time I dined with the King 
               He did quite a curious thing: 
                    He sat on a stool 
                    And took out his tool, 
               And said, "If I play, will you sing?" 

There was a long lady named Weaver 
               Who had intercourse with a beaver. 
                    The result of their fuck 
                    Was a canvas-back duck, 
               Two muskrats and a hump-backed retriever. 

There was a young girl in Berlin 
               Who was fucked by an elderly Finn. 
                    Though he diddled his best, 
                    And fucked her with zest, 
               She kept asking, "Hey, Pop, is it in?" 

               A young wife in the outskirts of Tass 
               Preferred frigging to going to mass. 
                    Said her husband, "Take Jacques, 
                    Or any young cock, 
               For I cannot live up to your ass." 

There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all, 
And now he's a college professor.