There was a young genius in Texas 
Who could flex his own solar plexus. 
It made his ding bounce, 
And he caught every ounce 
Of his magical spraying of sexus.

There was a young lady named Rose
With erogenous zones in her toes.
        She remained onanistic
        Till a foot-fetishistic
Young man became one of her beaux.

There was an old curate of Hestion 
            Who'd erect at the slightest suggestion. 
                But so small was his tool 
                He could scarce screw a spool, 
            And a cunt was quite out of the question. 

There was an old Abbot of Khief 
               Who thought the Inpenitent Thief 
                    Had bollocks of brass 
                    And an amethyst ass. 
               He died in this awful belief. 

               There was a young fellow named Perkin 
               Who was always jerkin' his gherkin. 
                    His wife said, "Now, Perkin, 
                    Stop jerkin' your gherkin: 
               You're shirkin' your ferkin'---you bastard!"