Why, oh why, does this happen to me?
How did I end up stuck in this tree?
The ground down below looks so far away,
That if I would fall it would take me all day
To hit the ground, with a thud and a thunk.
And knowing my luck I'd land on a skunk.
So here I will sit 'til my dying day.
Or maybe, at least, 'til that bear goes away. 

There was a young fellow named Hyde
               Who took a girl out for a ride. 
                    He mucked up her fuck-hole 
                    And fucked up her muck-hole, 
               And charged her two dollars beside. 

Once a pirate named Yates 
            Danced the jig for all of his mates. 
                He slipped in his cutlas, 
                And made himself nutless, 
            And now he's quite useless on dates. 

submitted by mel & nan

There once was a girl from the East
who had a bad case of the yeast
her guy said "pish, pish"
"it smells like dead fish"
"and that's a smell I don't like in the least"

A disgusting young man named McGill
Made his neighbors exceedingly ill
Because of his habits
Involving white rabbits
And a bird with a flexible bill.