THE LAND OF OZ Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together in the Midwest, when suddenly a tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. When they come down and pull themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the land of OZ. Naturally, they decide to go to see the Wizard of OZ. Says Quayle, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain." Says Gingrich, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Clinton says, "Where's Dorothy?"
Did you here what Monica Lewinskys' mother said when she brought home her dress? What,doesn't the White House have any club soda?
One morning Bill Clinton wakes up. He looks out side, it had snowed during the night and everything was covered in snow. He looks down and sees something written in urine on the lawn it reads "I hope YoU GeT ImPeAcHeD". Bill calls the FBI and says "Someone has written "I hope you get impeached" in urine on my lawn. For them to write it in the spot it's in they would have had to be on my deck. Please help me find this criminal." The FBI agrees and comes back a week later. "Well Mr. Clinton we did DNA , urine and handwriting tests. Do you want to here the bad news or the awful news first." Bill sighs "bad I guess". "The urine belongs to Al Gore" Bill grabs his chest "Oh! Al, my best friend my partner, my vice president...What's the awful news?!" The FBI agents look at each other... "The hand writing was Hillary's"
A guy was driving down the road in his Yugo during a thunder storm, when his windshield wiper broke. He drives until he comes to an auto body shop. He goes into the shop, walks up to the counter and says, "Excuse me, but could you give me a windshield wiper for my Yugo?" The clerk leans against the counter and thinks for a while. Finally he says, "Sure...that sounds like a fair trade."
A woman shows up at the white house in a trench coat and scarf and says, "I received your emergency phone call, Mrs. Clinton, and came right away, but what could "I" possibly do to save the country?" Mrs. Clinton: "Come inside and let me explain, Mrs. Bobbit..."
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