A poor little girl was begging in the street. A man passed by
and the girl mumbled, "Please, sir, give me some money for a fix." 
The man answers, astonished, "Good heavens! But, how old are you,
little girl?" 
"I'm eight, sir." 
"Oh, my God, and how long have you been into drugs?" 
"Since I was raped, sir, when I was four." 
"RAPED?! And who raped you, little girl?" 
"I don't remember, I was drunk." 

I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor if,
after surgery, I would be able to play the banjo. 

He said, "I'm doing surgery on your hand, not giving you a lobotomy." 

How do you know a blond has been using your computer?

When the joy stick is wet!


Sent by Richard

Age           EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES

        17         Need to wash my hair
        25         Need to wash and condition my hair
        35         Need to color my hair
        48         Need to have Francois color my hair
        66         Need to have Francois color my wig

When I stopped the bus to pick up little five year old Chris for
preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house.

"Is that your grandmother?" I asked Chris when he boarded.

"Yes," Chris said.  "She's come to visit us for Christmas." 
"How nice," I said.  "Where does she live?"
"At the airport," Chris replied.  
"Whenever we want her we just go out there and get her."