Man walks into a supermarket and buys :

1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube toothpaste
1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk
1 single serving cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner

The girl at the checkout looks at him and says "Single are you?"
The man replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?"
She replies "because you're ugly."

Q. Where is an elephants sex organ ?
A. In his feet. If he steps on you, you're fucked !

A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.
They are standing in front of the big silver
back gorillas cage, when one woman makes a
gesture that the gorilla interprets as an
invitation. He grabs her yanks her over the
fence and takes her to his nest in the pen.
There he ravishhes her and makes passionate
love to her for about 2 hours till he is
tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital. 

Her friend visits her the next day and asks" 

Are you hurt?" 

She replies. Of Course I'm hurt, He hasn't
called! He hasn't written!

This black guy is walking along a beach when he looks down a sees an 
antique lamp. Thinking that he'll get enough money for another vial of 
crack, he takes the bottle home and starts to clean it. He starts rubbing 
the lamp, when all of a sudden a Jewish genie appears, and being a Jewish 
genie, he say's to the nigger that he have two wishes. The black guy 
thinks for a couple of seconds, and quickly says:, "I want to be white and 
surrounded by cunt."
In an instant he is turned into a tampon.
Now the morale of this story is:
Don't ever expect anything from a Jew without strings attached.

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.  They
are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as
your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."