A little boy who prayed for a bicycle had an even more startling surprise instead -- a baby sister. That night he had a talk with God about His delivery service. "I got a sister instead of a bike," he explained to God. "Maybe some other kid wanted a sister and got my bike. Is there any chance we can keep the girl and get me a bike, too?" from "Faith, Hope and Hilarity: The Child's Eye View of Religion" by Dick Van Dyke
England: A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle chatter about golf, the customs official realizes that the tourist does not know what a "handicap" is. The customs official asks the tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does -- backward! A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.
I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"