A little boy who prayed for a bicycle had an even more startling
surprise instead -- a baby sister.  That night he had a talk with God
about His delivery service.  "I got a sister instead of a bike," he
explained to God.  "Maybe some other kid wanted a sister and got my
bike.  Is there any chance we can keep the girl and get me a bike, too?"

from "Faith, Hope and Hilarity:  The Child's Eye View
of Religion" by Dick Van Dyke

England: A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf
holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag.
While making idle chatter about golf, the customs
official realizes that the tourist does not know
what a "handicap" is. The customs official asks the
tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does --
backward! A substantial amount of narcotics was found
in the golf bag. 

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who
answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"