One guy was trying to fix a blocked pipe under the sink.
He disconnected the pipe and put a bucket under the basin to
catch all of the water.  While he was working, he realized 
the bucket was getting full so he took the bucket and emptied
back in the sink again

"I am a Paramedic, recently I was called to 
a scene where a man in his late 60s had died and obviously 
been there a couple of days. We searched for any sign of 
trauma.... None. We looked for anything that might indicate a 
medical problem... heart meds etc..... None. The only medicine 
we found: Viagra. About that time the coroner arrived (a 
strikingly pretty gal) who asked me, "How long has he been 
dead?" I replied a couple of days, she said, "Oh so he is stiff 
then?" I handed her the Viagra bottle and said, "In more ways 
than one..."

A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the
definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel:

     "an intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under
     the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an
     adequate cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found in a
     'compromising position.'"

"See, I have a problem with that passion business," responded the jury
candidate. "During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in 
bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I 
could have shot him."

She wasn't selected for the jury.