In The Oregonian, a Meier and Frank department store
advertisement for women's bras and panties reads:

     The perfect gift for that special woman in your life,
     or great to keep for yourself. 

The is at the bottom of this actual interview, but you'll need to 
read the article to appreciate it...enjoy!

This is a verbatim extract from a National Public Radio interview between
a female broadcaster and Army LT.GEN. Reinwald about sponsoring a Boy
Scout Troop on his military installation.
----------------------------

Interviewer:  "So, LT.GEN. Reinwald, what are you going to do 
with these young boys on their adventure holiday?"

LTGEN Reinwald: "We're going to teach them climbing, 
canoeing, archery, and shooting."

Interviewer: "Shooting!  That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"

LTGEN Reinwald: "I don't see why, they'll be properly 
supervised on  the range."

Interviewer: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous
activity to be teaching children?"

LTGEN Reinwald:  "I don't see how, we will be teaching them 
proper range discipline before they even touch a firearm."

Interviewer: "But you're equipping them to become violent 
killers."

LTGEN Reinwald: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but
you're not one, are you?"

DEAD AIR.....NO FURTHER QUESTIONS..


Sent by Brian

A true story....

There was an elderly lady who lived out of town.
Once every year she would go visit her daughter
in Salem. Now, her doctor was in Salem, and every
year when she visited her daughter she would have
her annual appontment with her doctor. It was around
October when she came to visit. She schedualed her
apointment, and the morning of, she took a shower
and got ready to go. She yelled out the bathroom door
"Honey, can I use some of your FDS spray before we go?"
"sure mom" the daughter answers. The daughter took her
mom to the doctor and waited in the car until the
appoitment was over. About an hour later her mom walks
out with a horrified look on her face. She sits in the
car and doesn't say a word. The daughter at this point
was very upset and confused about her mothers silence
and asks what was wrong. The mother, in a shy voice says
" well, when I was on the table, the doctor was ready to
begin, and he looked up at me and said I looked very
'spiffy' today. I don't understand what he ment."The
daughter was very upset hearing this, knowing that it is
very unprofessional. She told her mother she would call
the doctor in the morning to find out why he said that.
When they got home the daughter was cleaning the bathroom
and noticed something odd. Her FDS spray was tuked back
into the cupboard, and their was a can of Halloween hair
glitter on the counter. She called out  " mom, did you find
the FDS spray this morning?" "yes honey, it was sitting on
the counter next to the sink. I put it back when I used it."
Then she laughed uncontrollably knowing her mother didn't
have her glasses on when she got out of the shower, and used
the wrong can! Needless to say, She made herself very 'spiffy'
for the doctor and didn't realize it.

Sent by Shelly