Went to lunch with a friend today to a new chicken place.
We asked how they prepare their chickens.
The answer was, "We just tell them they're going to die." 

A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking,"
          stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an
          officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

Karen was telling me that her to-be-ex, a police officer, asked
the judge to please remind her to re-register a gun he'd given
her in her name.  "You see, your honor, to buy it, I had to 
register it in my name."  The judge said, "Why's this so impor-
tant?"  "Because, Your Honor, I don't want to be shot with 'my 
own gun'."  The judge had to hold a piece of paper in front of his 
face to hide his laughter.