The other day I was on my way home from work when the most remarkable
thing happened. Traffic was heavy as usual, and as I sat there at a
red light, out of nowhere a bird slammed into my windshield. If that
wasn't bad enough, the poor creature got its wing stuck under the
windshield wiper.
Just then the light turned green and there I was with a bird stuck on
my windshield. Without any other apparent options, turning on the
windshield wipers seemed the only thing to do. It actually worked.
On the upswing, the bird flew off, and here is the crazy thing... it
slammed right onto the windshield of the car behind me. No, it didn't
get caught under the windshield wipers of that vehicle, but the car
behind me was a police car.
Of course, knowing my luck, immediately the lights went on and I was
forced to pull over. The officer walked up and told me he saw what
had happened at the light. Trying to plead my case fell on deaf ears.
He simply stated: I am going to have to write you up for flipping me
the bird.

Sent by Matt

[AP,St. Louis, MO] Robert Puelo, 32, was
   apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market.
   When the clerk threatened to call police, Puelo
   grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and
   walked out without paying for it. Police later
   found him unconscious in front of the store:
   paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his
   throat, Where it had choked him to death.

Those German controllers at Frankfurt Airport tend to be a 
short-tempered lot. They not only expect pilots to know their 
parking location but how to get there without any assistance. 

So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened 
to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a 
British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.

Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt. Speedbird 206 clear 
to active."

Ground: "Good Morning. Taxi to your gate."

The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground. I'm looking up the gate 
location now."

Ground (impatiently): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to 
Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly), "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop."