When asked by the Pope (I forget which one) what the Catholic Church
could do for music, Igor Stravinsky is reputed to have answered without
hesitation: "Give us back castrati!" 

Redmond -- Citing the event as a new era of peace and cooperation, Bill 
Gates today announced Microsoft's purchase of Netscape.

Said Gates: "Hopefully now the world knows we're serious about the Web." 
Microsoft's first move will be to combine the two browsers, with the MINE 
(Microsoft Internet Netscape Explorer) browser due this year. "When we 
release this version," said Gates, "all Web access will be MINE."

IDIOTS IN MANAGEMENT

At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who
is leaving the company due to "downsizing" our manager spoke up
and said, "This is fun. We should have lunch like this more
often."  Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each
other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.