"Here lies... Walt Whitman.  Aaargh!  Damn you Walt Whitman! 
I... hate... you... Walt...freakin... Whitman, leaves of
grass my ass!" 

Homer Simpson 

"Flooding... No really, flooding. Bring an Ark."
                        -- Topic of #darksex, set by Dorianne
                                (aka Sabrina Goodpaster)

"In Russia we only had two TV channels.
Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two
consisted of a KGB officer telling you:
Turn back at once to Channel One." 

Yakov Smirnoff. 

Does God have a navel?
(Florida State University)

"Nobody seems more obsessed by diet than our antimaterialist, otherworldly,
New Age, spiritual types. But if the material world is merely illusion, an
honest guru should as content with Budweiser and bratwurst as with raw carrot
juice, tofu, and seaweed slime."

                                         --Edward Abbey