A geneticist living in Delft
                            
                    Scientifically played with himself,
                            And when he was done
                            He labeled it: Son,
                            
                    And filed it away on the shelf.
                            

A sultan named Abou ben Adhem
Thus cautioned a travelling madam,
"I suffer from crabs
As do most us A-rabs,"
"It's alright," said the madam, "I've had 'em."

A file that big?

It might be very useful.

But now it is gone.

There was an old maid from Bermuda 
               Who shot a marauding intruder. 
                    It was not her ire 
                    At his lack of attire, 
               But he reached for her jewels as he screwed her. 

There was a Bishop from Trawlee 
            Who went out into the Garden to pee. 
                He said "Pax Vou Biscum" 
                I can't make the piss come 
            It must be the C L A P!