There was a young man named Tom
Who ran screaming home to his mom.
The fear of the Bomb
Scared him back in the womb---
The bastard, he wasn't so dumb!

There was a bluestocking in Florence 
Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents, 
Till a Spanish grandee 
Got her off with his knee, 
And she burned all her works with abhorrence.

There was a young woman of Croft
Who played with herself in a loft.
Having reasoned that candles
Could never cause scandals,
Besides which they did not go soft. 

Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says i love you
You belive its true
but when your tummy starts to swell,
he says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
a baby without a name
the baby is a bastard
the mother is a whore
this never wouldn't have happened
if the rubber wouldn't have torn.

Sent by Robert

               There was a young laundress of Lamas 
               Who invented high amorous dramas 
                    For the spots she espied 
                    Dried and hardened inside 
               The pants of the parson's pajamas.