Some come here to sit and think,
   Some come here to shit and stink,
   But I come here to scratch my balls,
   And read the bullshit on the walls...


  

There once was a pious young priest
Who lived almost wholly on yest
"For", he said, "It's plain,
We must all rise again,
And I want to get started at least"

There was a young girl of Darjeeling
Who could dance with such exquisite feeling
    There was never a sound
    For miles around
Save of fly-buttons hitting the ceiling.

There was an old maid in Van Nuys 
               Who went crazy from making mud pies. 
                    She would fill them with farts 
                    And pickled beef-hearts, 
               And bake them between her fierce thighs. 

               There was a young man in Woods Hole 
               Who had an affair with a mole. 
                    Though a bit of a nancy 
                    He did like to fancy 
               Himself in a dominant role.