He could vary, with proper persuasion,
His fart to suit any occasion.
He could fart like a flute
Like a lark, like a lute,
This highly fartistic Caucasian. 

A young girl who was no good at tennis
But at swimming was really a menace
Took pains to explain,
"It depends how to train;
I was a streetwalker in Venice."

I'm sure you can imagine 
As plain as can be 
The place is Piccadilly 
The players He and She.

She whispered "will it hurt me?" 
"Of course not" answered he 
"It's a very simple process, 
You can rely on me." 

She said "I'm very frightened, 
I've not had this before. 
My friend has had it five times 
And said it can be sore". 

Then finally contended 
Lay back and relax a bit 
Quickly and readily he bent over her 
And then he started it. 

It was growing rather painful 
Tears formed in her eyes 
It was hurting quite a bit now 
It must have been quite a size. 

"Calm yourself" he whispered 
His face was filled with a grin 
"Try and open a bit wider 
So I can get it in". 

"It's coming now" he whispered 
"I know" she cried in bliss 
Feeling it deep within her now 
She said "I am glad I am having this". 

And with a final effort 
She gave a frightened shout 
He gripped it in anguish 
And quickly pulled it out. 

She lay back quite contended 
Sighed and gave a smile 
She said "I'm glad I came now 
You made it worth my while". 

Now if you read this carefully 
The dentist you will find 
Is not what you imagined 
It's just your dirty mind! 

There was a young lady named Gloria
Who had sex with Sir Wilfred DuMoria,
Then with 26 men,
Sir Wilfred again,
And the band from the Waldorf- Astoria.

There was a young man from Bellaire
Who was screwing his girl on the stair.
But the banister broke,
So he doubled his stroke,
And finished her off in mid-air.