There was an old man of Decatur, 
               Took out his red-hot pertater. 
                    He tried at her dent, 
                    But when his thing bent, 
               He got down on his knees and he ate 'er. 

As the elevator car left our floor,
Big Sue caught her tits in the door;
She yelled a good deal,
But had they been real,
She'd have yelled considerably more.

A crooner who lived in Lahore
Got his balls caught in a door.
Now his mezzo soprano
Is rather piano
Though he was a loud basso before.

There is a young lass of Valencia
For whom sex is a form of dementia.
For the first hour she's quiet
Then she builds to a riot
With a noise that grows quickly intensia. 

Part 1 of 2:
   
                    There was a young girl with a pretty-ass,
                            
                    And her habits were neat but invidious.
                            She would wipe with a taper
                            Of scented blue paper,
                            
                    Since she was so very fastidious.