My wife Myrtle's womb has a habit 
               Of expanding whenever I stab it. 
                    What's more, my wife Myrtle 
                    Is so wonderously fertile, 
               That she's giving me kids like a rabbit. 

There was a young man from Malacca
Who always slept on his left knacker.
One saturday night,
He slept on his right,
And his knacker went off like a cracker. 

                    There was a young fellow named Louvies
                            
                    Who tickled his girl in the boovies,
                            And as she contorted,
                            He looked down and snorted,
                            
                    "My prick wants to get in your movies!"
                            
                                              

There was an old spinster of Tyre 
            Who bellowed, "My cunt is on fire!" 
                So a fireman was found, 
                Brought his engine around, 
            And extinguished her burning desire. 

A shiftless young fellow of Kent 
               Had his wife fuck the landlord for rent. 
                    But as she grew older, 
                    The landlord grew colder, 
               And now they live out in a tent.