What do you get when you cross a Jehova's witness with a 
business man?

A door to door salesman!


Sent by Jorge

A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to 
his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little 
boy's mind, sat him and said: "God is not a man or a woman, and God is not 
black or white."
To which the child responded, "Well, then is God Michael Jackson?" 

How can you tell when your girlfriend's horny? 

    You stick your hands in her panties and it feels like you feeding a horse. 

    A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to
   marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each
   other." He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we
   go along."
   So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a
   very nice resort.
   So one morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his
   towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half tuck
   gainer, this was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position,
   where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.
   After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the
   towel. She said, "That was incredible!" He said, "I used to be an
   Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about
   ourselves as we went along."
   So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about
   thirty laps she climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out
   of breath.
   He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
   "No." she said, "I was a hooker in Venice and I worked both sides of
   the canal."

A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the rates. 
"Fifty dollars for three questions," replied the lawyer. 

"Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. 

"Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"