What's the least-used sentence in the English language?

     "Isn't that the banjo player's Porsche?" 

The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the 
congregation said, "I give ten dollars." Just then, a piece of plaster 
fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. 
"I give a thousand dollars!"
The minister said, "Lord, hit him again!" 

A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly
screwed she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp
washing up onshore.

She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!!

The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him.  As a
consolation, the genie informs that he will give her three wishes.  But, he
cautions her that because he does not believe in divorce, he will give her
ex-husband ten times the amount of whatever she wishes.

The woman is steaming mad, thinking that this is hardly fair, but she makes
her first wish.  The first wish was for a billion dollars.  The genie grants
her wish and she finds herself sitting in pile of one billion one-dollar
bills.  The genie then reminds her that her husband is now the recipient of
10 billion dollars.

The woman can barely contain her anger when she makes her second wish. The
second wish was for a beautiful mansion on the shore of her own private
beach.  In an instant it was granted, but the genie then reminds gain that
her ex-husband now owns ten of what she wished for, and points own the beach
to a small development of ten such mansions.

Upon hearing this, the woman takes her time to contemplate her last wish.
Just as the genie was about to give up on her, the woman informs the genie
that she wants to make the last wish.  But, before she can do this, the
genie again warns her that her ex-husband will get ten
times what she wishes for.

No problem, said the woman as she grinned in ecstasy.  For my last wish...

"Id like to give birth to twins".

A game

check this out! It only takes about 30 seconds. Don't cheat!

Think of a letter between A and W. Repeat it out loud as you scroll down.








Keep going!










Think of an animal that begins with that letter. Repeat it out loud as you
scroll down.










Think of a man's name that begins with the last letter in that animal.
Say it out loud as you scroll down.










Now count out the letters in that name on the fingers of the hand you are
not using to scroll down.










Take the last finger you counted with, shove it up your ass, and get back
to work, you stupid game playing bastard!

Sent by Zena

Q: If fathers have Father's Day, and mothers have Mother's Day,
….what do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday.