This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops
   for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door
   saying "NERDS NOT ALLOWED -- ENTER AT OWN RISK!" He goes in and sits
   down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of
   nerdy, asks him what he does for a living. The truck driver says he
   drives a truck, and the smell is just from the computers he is
   hauling. The bartender says OK, truck drivers are not nerds, and
   serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in
   with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of
   pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender,
   without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The
   truck driver asks him why he did that. The bartender said not to
   worry, the nerds are overpopulating the Silicon Valley, and are in
   season now. You don't even need a license, he said.
   So the truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and
   heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly he veers to avoid an accident,
   and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out
   all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming,
   grabbing up the computers. They are all engineers, accountants and
   programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen. He can't
   let them steal his whole load. So remembering what happened in the
   bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of
   them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps
   out of the car screaming at him to stop. The truck driver said,
   "What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season."
   "Well, sure," said the patrolman, "But you can't bait 'em."

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? 

    He decided to stick it out for one more year! 

A blonde and a brunette were talking one day.  The brunette said
that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head
and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.  The blonde asked inquisitively,
"How do you give shoulders?"

        Two teachers at my high school started a practical joke war
that culminated in a junk mail war of huge proportions.  They
finally called a truce and got it cleared up and the mail stopped,
EXCEPT for the military mail that one had signed the other one up
for.  He wrote (honestly) that he had graduated from a fine college
and was interested in the Marines, Air Force, etc. etc.
        When I left, about two years after this, he was still
getting PHONE CALLS from 2-4 times a month.... they were VERY
persistant even over he (loud) objections that he was 45 and not
interested in a career change...

What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? 

Beat it! We're closed...