Girl woke up in the morning after a party and found an Elephant in bed
beside her.
She said "I must have been tight last night"
The Elephant said "You were the first time but second time was'nt so bad"

Sent by lcg

How can you tell if your college roomate is gay?

-His dick tastes like shit. 

A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken
to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your 
secretary. Why do you call her a doll?" 
Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey,
my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you
wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system and is very
efficient." 

"Oh," says the little girl, "I thought it was because she closed
her eyes when you lay her down on the couch."

Men come in three sizes: 

    Small, medium, and Oh My God!!! 

A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: 
"Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most 
difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard.
Well, you know how she is.  
"Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that 
she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and 
you begged me not to marry her.  
"You were perfectly right.  
"You want to speak with her? All right."  He looks up from the 
telephone and calls to his wife in the next room:  
"Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"