"Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically
   to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets
   and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is
   to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to
   test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about
   the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new
   high-speed trains. Arrangements were made. But when the gun was fired,
   the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel,
   crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens,
   crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest
   in two and embedded itself in the back of the cabin. Horrified, the
   Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with
   the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for
   suggestions. NASA's response was just one sentence, "Thaw the
   chicken."


  

IDIOTS AT WORK

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the
clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the
credit card.  She informed me that she could not complete the
transaction unless the card was signed.  When I asked why, she
explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the
credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt.
So I signed the credit card in front of her.  She carefully
compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it, they matched.

One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting up" during
the   morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain
some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally the
father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle
on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the
little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for
me!"