When the last scene of Titanic faded to black and people 
began rushing for the exits, one patron shouted: "Quick! There 
are only enough cars in the parking lot for half of us!"

When the last scene of Titanic faded to black and people 
began rushing for the exits, one patron shouted: "Quick! There 
are only enough cars in the parking lot for half of us!"

Adventures in teaching

My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales
at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often
ad-libs parts of the stories for fun.

One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade
class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three
Little Pigs.

She came to the part of the story where the first pig was
trying to acquire building materials for his home.  She
said "...And so the pig went up to the man with a
wheelbarrow full of straw and said 'Pardon me sir, but might
I have some of that straw to build my house with?'" Then the
teacher asked the class "And what do you think that man said?"
and my friend's son raised his hand and said

"I know! I know!  He said 'Holy smokes! A talking pig!'"