On our last vacation, my wife and I saved some money by staying in
a cheap hotel. Just as we were falling asleep, we heard the sounds
of mattress springs and a banging headboard from the next room.

At first we were amused by the amorous couple.
After five minutes it had lost its charm.
After ten minutes we were getting pretty annoyed, in that it was
keeping us awake.
After fifteen minutes, we were just plain ticked off.

After half an hour we were pretty damned impressed. 

Texan prisons have banned convicts on death row from having
a last cigarette, on the grounds that it is bad for their
health. However, to compensate for this, condemned men will
instead be permitted to chew a stick of celery.

Mouth Cells



I'm a bio major at IUP (Indiana University of Pennsylvania)
and was taking a cell biology course my freshman year.  The
task of the day was examining epitheleal cheek cells under a
microscope. We had to scrape the inside of our mouth with a
toothpick and make a slide from it and i.d. the different types
of cells that were found. One girl in the class (a rather well
built sorority gal, which is why I sat next to her) was having
some trouble identifing some cells. She called the prof. over
to ask him. After a moment or two of peering in her scope, he
looked up, and said in a loud voice, "Those are sperm cells."
 
The girl turned bright red and ran out of the room. Needless
to say, she dropped the class. (Although I spent two weeks
looking for her, I never did see her again.) Such is life :)
 
                                            - Author Unknown