I just gotta wake up faster in the morning, as well as keep my mind on where I am and what I'm supposed to be doing. I was
sitting at the kitchen table the other morning, having my first cup of coffee, mulling over my upcoming tasks at work for the day.
The wife came downstairs and I kissed her casually, saying "Good Morning." then, I said, "Take a letter, please babe." 

Sign in a Leipzig elevator: 

    Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up. 

MOSCOW, RUSSIA - A drunk security man asked a colleague at
the Moscow bank they were guarding to stab his bullet-proof
vest to see if it protected him against the knife.....

It didn't and the 25-year-old guard died of a heart wound.