"Alas poor Yorric, I smurfed him Horatio..."
                        -- Heath Copeland (there's a _lot_ more where that
                                                came from...)

The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you're sick of him. 

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better
verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of
that study: Duh."

                                     - Conan O'Brien

Sorry, my mind was wandering.  One time my mind went all the way to Venus on
mail order and I couldn't pay for it.

Dale Carnegie: 
     "If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of
lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the
loss of sleep."