"Life gets boring, someone invents another necessity, and once again we
 turn the crank on the screwjack of progress hoping that nobody gets
 screwed."

-- Larry Wall

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that. It's called
EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

                                     - Drew Carey

DENTURES -- Two rows of artificial ivories that may be removed
periodically to frighten one's grandchildren or provide
accompaniment to Spanish music.

It is impossible that a man who is false to his friends and
neighbours should be true to the public.
        --Bishop Berkeley

"'Son I am able' she said 'though you scare me', 'Watch' said I, 'Beloved' I
 said 'Watch me scare you', 'Though' said she 'able am I son'..."
                        -- They Might Be Giants, "I Palindrome I"