Don't worry, Homer.  Nine out of ten religions fail in their first year. 
   -- God, ``Homer the Heretic'' 

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.

"But _all_ OS's _do_ suck. VMS sucks. Solaris sucks. SunOS sucks. MS-DOS
 doesn't qualify. Ultrix/OSF1/Digital Unix/Whatever it is this week sucks.
 HP/UX sucks. Dynix sucks. Esix sucks. CTIX sucks. Coherent sucks. SCO sucks.
 Xenix also doesn't qualify. Unicos sucks. MVS sucks. VM sucks. CMS sucks.
 NOS sucked. CP/M sucks..."
[some more additions from other people]
"TOPS-20 didn't suck bad enough, so it had to be destroyed."
                        -- miscellaneous rambling on alt.sysadmin.recovery

"It's amazing what can get up there. People have got foot-long zucchinis
 stuck up there."
"Well that's why you use barbeque tongs..."
                        -- Andrew Rutherford, Karen

One time I went to a drive-in in a taxi cab.  The movie cost me $95.