Lieberman's law:
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody
listens.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

   My wife always keeps a bowl of wax fruit around,
   even though neither of us knows any mannequins.

"If y'all can hold it in one
 hand, I ain't the least bit interested."

"You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible 
voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner."

                     -- Aristophanes --