"Spell 'Paranoia'"
"I can't! I'm diabetic! It means I can't spell!"
                        -- me, a very drunk guy at a party

"Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." 

    - Baroness Edith Summerskill 

"Historical Landmark #9678023
 Windows 95: Five years ago, corporate software giant, Microsoft, spent
 millions of dollars, and put a team of hundreds of highly specialized
 programmers on an extensive and highly ambitious project to find another
 name for the Apple Menu."
                        -- Avi Selk, in comp.unix.bsd.netbsd.misc

I place economy among the first and most important virtues,
and public debt as the greatest of dangers. To preserve our
independence, we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt. 

     - Thomas Jefferson 

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a
   guy like Norman Einstein."
   - Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann